Posts Tagged ‘Relationship Coaching’
Many times what we learn about love is counterfeit. It is love masquerading as getting our emotional and other needs met and meeting those of others, a reward offered for satisfying our heart’s desires.The first thing to remember is that only through having a deep inner awareness of being love itself are we able to see the distinction between love as a noun and love as a verb, to being itself without a subject or object upon which it is placed or directed.
Without this distinction one can become addicted to what they think is love, but it’s really love masquerading as getting our emotional and other needs met. Many people are addicted to love but real love is not addiction nor is addiction love. Love addiction is unhealthy attachment to people, euphoria, romance or sex in an attempt to get needs met. Or when we unconsciously look to others to fix our fear, pain and discomfort and tolerate or inflict abusive behaviors in the process.
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Self-honoring requires a balance of responsibility, preference and personal power. To support you in making self-honoring choices practice including the following tips:
- Always take responsibility. Don’t try to project anything unto anyone else, not matter if you perceive it to be something “trivial”.
- Be honest with self first, even when it feels uncomfortable.
- Express your emotions appropriately. Give yourself permission to feel the full range of all your emotions.
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“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.” ~ Lao Tzu
How well do you know yourself, I mean really know yourself? The first essential aspect of living a more authentic life is to know who we truly are at the deepest level. Some of us may be more aware of ourselves than others. Knowing ourselves, like being authentic itself, is a life long process. The more intentional we are about this, the more we can grow and evolve.
Given our depth, complexity and constant evolution as human beings, it’s not possible for us to get to a point in life at which we know everything about ourselves. However the majority of us stay pretty unconscious and unaware of ourselves for much of our lives – which often causes a great deal of confusion and suffering for us and those around us. Our goal, therefore, is to continue to discover more and more about who we really are as we go through our journey.
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What is commonly called falling in love is in most cases an intensification of egoic wanting and needing. Thomas Merton is quoted as saying “Love seeks one thing, the good of the one loved. It leaves all the other secondary effects to take care of themselves. Love, therefore is its own reward.
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