Posts Tagged ‘Relationship’
Many times what we learn about love is counterfeit. It is love masquerading as getting our emotional and other needs met and meeting those of others, a reward offered for satisfying our heart’s desires.The first thing to remember is that only through having a deep inner awareness of being love itself are we able to see the distinction between love as a noun and love as a verb, to being itself without a subject or object upon which it is placed or directed.
Without this distinction one can become addicted to what they think is love, but it’s really love masquerading as getting our emotional and other needs met. Many people are addicted to love but real love is not addiction nor is addiction love. Love addiction is unhealthy attachment to people, euphoria, romance or sex in an attempt to get needs met. Or when we unconsciously look to others to fix our fear, pain and discomfort and tolerate or inflict abusive behaviors in the process.
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It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
Being who we really are, expressing ourselves honestly, being bold and going for what we want in life can cause a great deal of fear in us. Many of us run away or hide from our fears because they seem scary, uncomfortable or embarrassing. However, most things that will help us to grow in life doesn’t show up without any fear at all.
As we strive to live with authenticity, it’s inevitable that we will encounter quite a bit of fear along our path. Most of us erroneously think that as we evolve in life our goal should be to get rid of fear. Unfortunately, completely ridding ourselves of fear isn’t possible or even desirable. Fear is an essential part of growth and can be used in a positive way for authenticity and fulfillment – if we are willing to deal with it in a direct, honest and conscious way.
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When our inner boundaries are doing what they are supposed to do, they make it possible for us to relate to our inner world rather than being taken over by it. Inner boundaries separates the parts we accept about ourselves from the parts that are too shameful or scary to bring up and out. As breakthrough coaches we support our clients in coming to peace with ALL of who they are – the parts they love and the parts they don’t. We do this at we believe it is through this process we can begin to live more wholesome lives.
Your inner boundary structure will influence your boundary style entirely. It is what’s creating all the meaning your making of the world you live in. They in fact are the source of addictions that people use to numb themselves from experiences or choose to live life fully.
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Dr. Weiss in the book Many Lives Many Masters told the story of a rich man and a beggar who lived in upstate New York.
He suggested that they had a soul contract that they both would return to the earth field and play as reminders during each others life journey. The rich man worked on Wall Street and every evening as he came down the flight of stairs in his three-piece suit; there was the beggar – dirty, smelly and hungry begging for money. Dr. Weiss gives an in-depth account of the soul contracts we make with each other in order to support each other in fulfilling the purpose for our lives on earth. He alluded that the beggar wasn’t concern about returning to earth as a beggar but he loved his soul brother so much that the agreement to return superseded everything else.
I fell in love with the work of Dr. Weiss soon after reading his book and had the pleasure of being at his workshop last February. Truly his body of work is amazing and life changing! The story above reminds me of the feeling tone of kinship that we feel with others, the unexplainable language of connection. One day we strive to be as close to each other as the breath we breathe and the next we want to be distant – apart – a battle within.
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H.I.P. people are grateful that things will work themselves out, so they enjoy life’s processes now. Be H.I.P. Enjoy your life in the moment now.
Enjoying life’s processes is easier said than done. For most people this can be very challenging as they get caught up in the activities of life. Some circumstances and situation which are even emotionally charged can be quite difficult to release and ultimately trust that they will work out. Recently I was listening to Eckhart Tolle (one of my morning routines) and he reminded me about the “it” in our minds that causes us to be stuck in position. The “it” he spoke of was fear. He continued to explain that until we release the fear we will not be able to see the possibilities and deal with the facts of the situation.
This for me was a personal reminder as I could attest to the feeling of “stuckness” particularly in the financial life structure area. Usually until I can gain the momentum of gratitude to move forward, any out of the norm bills etc. can trigger different emotions. My financial mentor takes me through these releasing exercises that are just so phenomenal because usually the triggers are attached to some shadow belief that I accepted along my path and busting these shadows are my hobby and job.
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“You may not be responsible for world peace, but you are responsible for your piece/peace.” { i.e. your piece of world peace and your own inner peace.}
While moving through the exhibition hall at the parliament of the world’s religion I came upon a huge display that had the quote above. I stopped in my tracks and had to take a picture so I could really work with the thought in the days ahead. It turned out that the display belonged to the Rotary Organization. I was awed to learn of the work they are involved in around the world. Click the link above to see more.
At some point in ourselves we must take inventory of the impact we are making in the world and even in our homes and communities. Are we playing our part in creating a world that works for everyone? Do we have a why for life that encompasses oneness and universality of all beings on planet earth? What part at you playing or can you commit to playing?
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“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive.” ~ Howard Thurman
You are here for a reason! Your soul is eternally calling you in the direction of your highest path. The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. When you find your gift, you would have found what lights you up. And when you find what lights you up, your calling is to give it away.
We follow our calling by following what lights us up. Your light is contagious. Your inner light is craving to be shared by those around you, by the world at large – but mostly by you. When you share your unique light bit by bit, you light up lives around you. And one by one, you inspire them to light up too. It’s a chain reaction. And before long the whole world lights up. Your light is contagious.
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It is unimaginable because your experiences are different from another individual. They are feeling and seeing differently from you in each moment. An opinion or “solution giving” may just not be what’s needed.
I have been thinking about the concept of “walking in another man shoe” and what I have concluded for me is that the task is impossible. I can only stand in the gap with you whether in silence, with a hug or smile but the words often fail me. In fact the more silence that I can bring into the space will be the more opportunity for the inspiration of Spirit to flow into my heart, up to the brain and out my mouth.
You see the light I choose to share these days is the light of my presence. It may lead into “how can I support you?” but it definitely starts with my presence. To fully show up for someone else could be the act of lighting someone else’s candle. It could be just what the other person need in order to grow through the opening of their heart.
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How do you get across the bridge before you?
The one you have created with your imagination and laced with trimmings of accolades and achievements that will support you in living your best life. Often times we can envision so well the life we desire. The relationships we would like to experience and the family and friends we would like to help out. The imagery keeps us up at night and perhaps we retell the stories over and over to those around us.
However, there comes that time when we must get the goals and dreams from our minds and into our expressed world, where they become accomplished and or manifested. No longer can you leave it to chance or the big break to get this done but you must begin at once to take the necessary steps. Crossing this bridge is really about the practice discipline. Using the practice of discipline can help you in three ways:
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Imagine for a moment that you get that your sadness is absolutely yours?
It is authentically yours! Yet on the same coin lies your happiness which is shallow and not yours because often times it depends on something or somebody. Anything that makes you dependent is not yours. Be it the girlfriend, boyfriends or job, all that can change in the twinkle of an eye and with it goes your happiness. Frequently we try to avoid our sadness by not seeing or feeling it. We numb this with sex, drugs, shopping and food for example.
If we feel sad, we watch a comedy or go shopping or merely start doing something so that we neither feel or look at our sadness. What if your sadness was a sacred space that when explored could take you deeper within yourself? What it there where gifts and talents to be mined from this sadness? Lessons and insights to be learned? Could there be beauty in sadness?
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