Posts Tagged ‘healthy relationships’
Many times what we learn about love is counterfeit. It is love masquerading as getting our emotional and other needs met and meeting those of others, a reward offered for satisfying our heart’s desires.The first thing to remember is that only through having a deep inner awareness of being love itself are we able to see the distinction between love as a noun and love as a verb, to being itself without a subject or object upon which it is placed or directed.
Without this distinction one can become addicted to what they think is love, but it’s really love masquerading as getting our emotional and other needs met. Many people are addicted to love but real love is not addiction nor is addiction love. Love addiction is unhealthy attachment to people, euphoria, romance or sex in an attempt to get needs met. Or when we unconsciously look to others to fix our fear, pain and discomfort and tolerate or inflict abusive behaviors in the process.
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When our inner boundaries are doing what they are supposed to do, they make it possible for us to relate to our inner world rather than being taken over by it. Inner boundaries separates the parts we accept about ourselves from the parts that are too shameful or scary to bring up and out. As breakthrough coaches we support our clients in coming to peace with ALL of who they are – the parts they love and the parts they don’t. We do this at we believe it is through this process we can begin to live more wholesome lives.
Your inner boundary structure will influence your boundary style entirely. It is what’s creating all the meaning your making of the world you live in. They in fact are the source of addictions that people use to numb themselves from experiences or choose to live life fully.
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Dr. Weiss in the book Many Lives Many Masters told the story of a rich man and a beggar who lived in upstate New York.
He suggested that they had a soul contract that they both would return to the earth field and play as reminders during each others life journey. The rich man worked on Wall Street and every evening as he came down the flight of stairs in his three-piece suit; there was the beggar – dirty, smelly and hungry begging for money. Dr. Weiss gives an in-depth account of the soul contracts we make with each other in order to support each other in fulfilling the purpose for our lives on earth. He alluded that the beggar wasn’t concern about returning to earth as a beggar but he loved his soul brother so much that the agreement to return superseded everything else.
I fell in love with the work of Dr. Weiss soon after reading his book and had the pleasure of being at his workshop last February. Truly his body of work is amazing and life changing! The story above reminds me of the feeling tone of kinship that we feel with others, the unexplainable language of connection. One day we strive to be as close to each other as the breath we breathe and the next we want to be distant – apart – a battle within.
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Now that you have made the decision to be married, take the initiative to arrange for pre-marital counseling.
Most people think that the dynamics or a good marriage depend on some magical blend of the “right” people and that all you need is love. NOT! Both individuals must be open to attending these sessions. You will be asked to complete a pre-marital profile, which will address key topics including such as:
- Sound beginnings & expectations
- Communication
- Sharing feelings
- Personality/relating style
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Criticizing is easy. Doing something constructive takes courage.
I was watching Super Soul Sunday recently and heard Dr. Brene Brown talk about the concept of being in the ring ( the arena). She explained the courage and tenacity it takes to stand up and have a voice with a face – simply to stand in the ring. Without this she exclaimed “you don’t get a say”.
Here was another ah ah moment for me. Not only do I need to step up my game by getting in the arena for my life but I can also practice to not criticize other people’s arena. Those around you should be free to design and make their own life – to live out their dharma.
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Healthy, Inspiring, Purposeful people know that if they don’t let their light shine, they will never be a shining star. Be H.I.P. know that you are a shining star, no matter who you are, shining brightly for all to see. Shine baby shine. ~ Coach T
My wonderful husband has these habits that at once would drive me up the walls but then when I asked myself “what would I do if one day these habits went?” I decided to really breathe them all in. Yes, it is a process to look beyond the appearance but this is a process I have consciously chosen to fully experience every step of the way.
Our mutual relationship is one of supporting each other to evolve into our best selves. This requires being pushed beyond the comfort zone. This dedication more often than not allows us to confront the frighten parts of our personalities and to simply be with what is seeking to emerge, a necessary discomfort for the evolutionary relationship that we both seek to express.
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