Archive for the ‘Self-development’ Category
Imagine for a moment that you get that your sadness is absolutely yours?
It is authentically yours! Yet on the same coin lies your happiness which is shallow and not yours because often times it depends on something or somebody. Anything that makes you dependent is not yours. Be it the girlfriend, boyfriends or job, all that can change in the twinkle of an eye and with it goes your happiness. Frequently we try to avoid our sadness by not seeing or feeling it. We numb this with sex, drugs, shopping and food for example.
If we feel sad, we watch a comedy or go shopping or merely start doing something so that we neither feel or look at our sadness. What if your sadness was a sacred space that when explored could take you deeper within yourself? What it there where gifts and talents to be mined from this sadness? Lessons and insights to be learned? Could there be beauty in sadness?
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Because times are changing and families everywhere are seeking new and different ways of holding unto the traditions that are so very important to them. When you christen your child you are making a public statement that you have made the conscious decision to raise your child according to spiritual principles. You are declaring the truth that you are a teacher. In the society today it is important that we continue to make a safe and open space for our children to express and grow into their full potential.
Unless you parent in the total spirit of Love, it doesn’t matter what laws you think you are teaching—they will just become lifeless rules that your child will discard, as soon as there is no longer an authoritative finger around. Get the tools necessary by attending one of our pre-christening sessions to deepen your awareness of how important this right of passage is.
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The best hope for a revolutionary transformation to take place to create a world that works for everyone is a worldwide, grassroots revolution of love in action, based in authentic community.
In this community we have to engage in open conversation and communication between elders honed by sometimes brutal experience and the wise and impassioned young, hungry for a way out of terminal disaster and for a way of life in alignment with their hunger for a new way of being and doing everything.
We long to be connected with others in an authentic community. What steps can we take to create authentic communities? Authentic communities welcome new people from all backgrounds. Authentic community does not have a max capacity there is always room for someone else that may need and can offer what your community is up to. Authentic communities collaborate with others. Before change can take place, leaders must recognize the need for intentional collaboration regarding policies, procedures and decisions. Only collaborative leadership can make communities succeed. Authentic communities empower those on the same mission. The greatest path to success is the path that helps lead other people to it. Authentic communities doesn’t just include people, it involves them. We should absolutely be welcoming of new people.
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“A perfectionist is a person who takes great pains, and gives even greater pain to others.”
I came across this thought recently and had to pause for a moment. The endless pursuit of perfection is a psychological sickness that destroys all possibilities of inner growth. It destroys the beingness of our uniqueness and talents as one goes about attempting to attain the impossible. Everybody is trying to be perfect. And the moment somebody starts trying to be perfect he starts expecting everybody else to be perfect. This is the misery of the impossible goal. Condemning, humiliating and giving unsolicited opinions to others ruin the authenticity of self and relationships.
One then begins to feel guilty when he awakens from the illusion that he cannot be perfect. This awakening can come with much sadness and hurt as one loses respect for self and ultimately all others. Imagine what it would be like hanging around this person. The truth is we are hanging around or being this person every day. A perfectionist takes time day and night in the fight with self to be something he or she cannot be and makes those around them very miserable.
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What the average call excellent, the excellent call average.
To leave your mark in the world you will have to stand some place you have never been willing to stand before. You must have the courage to aspire to excellence. You must be willing to break the spell of average.
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Are you tired of people pleasing?
Are you over not meeting other people’s expectation for you? Give yourself permission to be your best self then. Now is the time to take back control of your life. Too often we spend our days seeking the approval of those around us and end up living a life of misery.
For me people pleasing started very early. I recall feeling a sense of not enough after my mother migrated and left me with my relatives. Here I was a dark-skinned little girl surrounded by family and siblings that I thought didn’t look like me. Yes, I knew in kindergarten that I looked different from my sisters because those around me made it known. I sought so hard to be loved and accepted. To simply be liked and considered beautiful. Little did I know that this thought pattern would follow me into my adult years.
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Authenticity is about being willing to grow and change in order to be who you were born to be. To be willing to grow and change, your mind has to open and validate your quest. Authenticity is not for those who want to maintain the status quo. Our mind is an incredible instrument. It serves as a filter between your conscious and unconscious life, defining what is acceptable and real. If it happen to be filled with false ideas, limitations or fears about inner work, it will create a mental boundary and we can get stuck in non-growth. Your mind must give permission for your heart to open.
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Nothing for me is more profound that experiencing a room filled with toddlers that are uninhibited and filled with authentic self-expression. There are no filters to the words they speak or even the language of their bodies. Sometimes I am able to experience this with kindergarteners but the subtle signs of conditioning are already settling in. They are already being told that their movements are inappropriate and certain expectations from parents and adults are made known.
With toddlers the beauty of others and the world are fresh and filled with curiosity. The bewilderment in their eyes is contagious. Sadly, by the time they get to first grade the light is dim and only a flicker is often time visible. When they become adults the struggle becomes real when there is an attempt to recapture this state of being. To be hopeful and filled with possibilities when so much has told you the opposite of your beingness. Certainly there is a level of undoing and untethering that must take place to find this space within again.
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When my wife and I made the conscious choice to enter into a conscious relationship and eventually get married we surrendered to our Inner Beloved to express a relationship with a high calling. Relationships with high callings can develop in any facet of life.
Their hallmark is this: two or more people coming together to create a third or fourth or fifth something, which is inspired and serves more than their ego’s desires. On a deep level, they are committed, not only to each other, but to expressing the spiritual world.
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The ability to focus completely on what your partner is sharing and not sharing and to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of your partner’s desires is called active listening. This art can be practiced and developed over time if you consciously choose to do some cleanup work on yourself. It is imperative that the cleanup process takes place as active listening calls for you to be open and free from your own personal agendas.
Making yourself available in this way is also a memorable and sexy trait that is love’s first duty. Having developed this skill your partner will sense or feel into the space of deep connection with you as you allow him or her to vent and get clear without judgment or interruptions.
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