Archive for the ‘Relationship Coaching’ Category
With most of our communities fragmented
And at odds within themselves we are called upon to change the existing context of community. Shifting it from one of deficiencies, interest and entitlement to one of possibility, generosity and gifts. In this endeavor questions are more important than answers, which means leadership is not a matter of style or vision but it is about getting the right people together in the right way.
A transformational community creates the environment and context for individuals to evolve, grow and contribute their gifts to creating a world that works for all. The context that leads to creating transformational communities are:
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Have you ever received THAT phone call….. from someone you know with the news they just broke-up with their spouse or long-term live in partner because of infidelity? Did the news make you so upset that it sent you searching for answers?
That happened to me recently and this is a brief reason as to perhaps why this happened. I am in no way giving an excuse or justifying such behavior, just offering something to think about.
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We have put together some useful tips to support you in living a H.I.P. life and relationship even through failures. If there are any you would like to share with the community please leave a comment below.
1. Just because something didn’t turn out well, doesn’t mean you made a bad choice. There may have been a lot to learn vice verse on what went wrong.
2. Start to pay attention to your thoughts. If you realize that they are negative change them by thinking anything neutral in their place.
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There seems to be something missing in the world today.
Something so huge, so fundamental to functional relationships. Something so essential to human life. It is evident as you browse your Facebook news feed, and as you walk through the halls of a school. We see it in offices, restaurants, stores, and often even in the home.
There is very little honor in the world today. It is so sad, because honor is the number one key to successful relationships (both personal and professional). In fact, you will not succeed in business or in your career if you do not know how to honor people. You could be the best at what you do, but if you lack honor, no one will want to work with you.I have been studying people for more than 2 decades, and here’s what I’ve found:
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First You Leave Behind Any False Ideals Of Perfection – You Release Your Attachment To What It Means To Be The Perfect You. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr
Do you mistaken excellence for perfection? How many times have we made a resolution such as, “I’m going to lose ten pounds and go to the gym three times a week and how many times have we not followed through?” Yeah, you know it – many time. What makes for the lack of follow through?
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How can you tell if you are a perfectionist?
A Perfectionist is someone who holds the underlying belief that perfection can be attained and it should be. Many people in our world today are perfectionists or have been perfectionists at some point in their lives. Personally, I’m not a perfectionist but I’m a person who strives for excellence, always setting the highest standards for myself and never expecting anything less to be a world-class person.
*Are you a perfectionist or a person of excellence? How can you tell?
1. You are highly conscious and hypocritical of mistakes (perfectionist). You are your harshest critic and have an extremely sharp eye toward details (excellence)
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We have been conditioned to blame something outside of ourselves
For the parts of our lives we don’t like. We blame our parents, our bosses, our friends, the media, our coworkers, our lack of money, our spouse, the weather, the economy, our astrological chart, God, anyone or anything we can pin the blame on. We never want to look at where the real problem is – OURSELVES
To achieve major success in life – to achieve those things that are most important to you – you must assume 100% responsibility for your life. Nothing less will do.
*If something doesn’t turn our as planned some of the questions you can begin to ask yourself are:
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“Your life works to the degree you keep you agreements.” -Werner Erhard
*Never promise more than you can perform.
*Recognize your word is your bond. Don’t give your word casually and then causally break it.
W-H-E-N you don’t keep your agreements, you pay both external and internal cost – you loss trust, respect and credibility with others (your family, friends, colleagues and customers). You ultimately create mess in your own life and in the lives of those who depend on you for getting things done.
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“You must take responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons or the wind, but you can change yourself” – Jim Rohn
Taking 100% responsibility for our lives can appear to be a big task, daunting at times when we look at our lives over the years and the experiences we would rather not look at. However, if we desire to live boldly and to live the life of our dreams it is a necessary journey we all must take to give birth to our authentic selves. Here are a few practices you can adopt in order to take full responsibility:
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Class Acts teach others how to treat them with esteem. They treat others with thoughtfulness and care, dignity and respect. If you’re always sloppy, late and don’t care how you conduct yourself, you’re going to attract people who treat you in a sloppy, always late and don’t care manner. Who wants that for themselves? I hope not you…Certain people command a certain level of respect not only because of how they treat others, but more importantly, because of how they treat themselves.
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