Archive for the ‘Relationship Coaching’ Category
Relationships allow us to grow and evolve. In fact relationship serves its purpose for mirroring and giving us feedback on how we are doing in our process of becoming. What we aim to do at Charles & Shakira Unlimited is support individuals in experiencing conscious relationships. This is where people choose for a state of awareness what they are participating in. We want for you to design your relationships, to hold a vision for your relationships and ultimately to actively participate in becoming the best you so that your relationships may flourish naturally. Relationships were not designed to be easy but with the proper tools they can be quiet rewarding.
Now that you have made the decision to be married, take the initiative to arrange for pre-marital counseling.
Most people think that the dynamics or a good marriage depend on some magical blend of the “right” people and that all you need is love. NOT! Both individuals must be open to attending these sessions. You will be asked to complete a pre-marital profile, which will address key topics including such as:
- Sound beginnings & expectations
- Communication
- Sharing feelings
- Personality/relating style
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Yesterday we celebrated a day set aside where the awareness of love is heighten and those who have the form of love they desire are happy and those who don’t have the form of love they desire are sadden. No matter what category you into, I suggest that if you truly want to know that love is, give your attention to the greatest love of all – Self love.
Learn to be your own valentine. “Healthy, Inspiring, Purposeful people know that loving oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. Be H.I.P. Learn to romance yourself more.” Why? Well, H.I.P. individuals know that you can only give and receive love from and to others only to the degree that you give and receive love from and to yourself. So it behooves us to love ourselves enough so that we can in turn loves others enough. One of the ways to do this is by practicing extreme self-care. This involves:
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“H.I.P. people know that life have a bigger vision for them than they can imagine for themselves. Be H.I.P. Be available to life’s larger vision for your life.” ~ Coach T
A vision is a big picture. It is a propelling picture that pulls you not pushes you towards the preferable future. Companies and institutions over the years have worked earnestly towards capturing a vision that all employees can actively buy into. Successful ones have achieved this. President Obama also successfully used a ‘vision’ to captivate and inspire America into history (the first black President).
A vision is a powerful tool to catch a hold of and bring forth in your individual life. It is important to get into the desires and vibrations of your soul and allow that to be expressed through and as you. Your vision should inspire you into action each and every day. In fact the first time I heard this from Charles I had to step back for a minute – “your vision should scare you.” Why? Because life has great plans for you, beyond your limited understanding and comprehension is a purpose and life that is unimaginable.. Just like scripture states… eyes has not seen, nor ears heard (1 Corinthians 2:9)
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Criticizing is easy. Doing something constructive takes courage.
I was watching Super Soul Sunday recently and heard Dr. Brene Brown talk about the concept of being in the ring ( the arena). She explained the courage and tenacity it takes to stand up and have a voice with a face – simply to stand in the ring. Without this she exclaimed “you don’t get a say”.
Here was another ah ah moment for me. Not only do I need to step up my game by getting in the arena for my life but I can also practice to not criticize other people’s arena. Those around you should be free to design and make their own life – to live out their dharma.
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“H.I.P. people know that trust is relationship and relationship is trust. No relationship, no trust. Trust is the glue that holds relationships together and allow it to evolve. Be H.I.P. Cultivate trust in your relationships.” ~ Coach T
Trust is the essential precondition upon which all successful relationships depends, upon which all real success in life depends. Without it nothing can be built or maintained. Yet, increasingly we find ourselves in a world where our methods to address distrust are insufficient.
As with most subject matters of the heart there are levels and levels upon which trust can be addressed. I am going to share two that may appear simple but are powerful if practiced consistently. They are in no particular order.
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Healthy, Inspiring, Purposeful people practice seeing other’s light by greeting them with “I see you”. Be H.I.P. practice silently greeting others with “I see you”. I see your light of greatness & excellence. ~ Coach T
Every day we spend hours projecting unto others our light qualities and our dark qualities. This means the qualities that we cannot accept as being a part of us but we perceive them out into the world. Into our family, friends and love ones, all of whom are playing their part in being mirror reflections for us.
The game goes like this – that person is mean, that person is angry, that person is undeserving. Perhaps that person is great, awesome, beautiful and charismatic. The qualities that we perceive as dark we push those away (daily feuds) and the ones that are light we are enthralled with. Humans spend hours per day watching OWN network because of the greatness they admire in Oprah (and yes there are those that perceive her differently). So many friends and acquaintances who comments “I will be on Oprah soon” – this is because they thing Oprah has something that they don’t have. She holds the ticket to their abundance and celebrity status.
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H.I.P. people practice seeing the Divine light in others by greeting them with the salutation – Namaste – I behold the Divine in you. Be H.I.P. practice seeing the light in others and greet them with Namaste. ~ Coach T
Love those that attack and challenge you the most. They are simply God’s angels disguised to remind you to love bigger and shine your light brighter. Sometimes we think because we have pure intentions or are doing some good in the world that everyone will be happy for you. This is not always the case. Often when light seeks to emerge darkness seeks to oppose it. But you cannot give it too much energy or weight. As you step more fully into you unique light, your authentic power, those around you may sometimes feel threatened. You just show them either where they are not embracing their own light or where it scares them. They may lash out at you.
KNOW THIS: They are not really threatened by you, they are actually threatened by their own greatness, their own light, that you remind them of. But trust that nothing can stop what is meant to be. Resist the natural temptation to fight darkness with darkness. Anger with anger. Hate with hate. This will only perpetuate the cycle of suffering and darkness and end up bringing you down.
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Healthy, Inspiring, Purposeful people know that if they don’t let their light shine, they will never be a shining star. Be H.I.P. know that you are a shining star, no matter who you are, shining brightly for all to see. Shine baby shine. ~ Coach T
My wonderful husband has these habits that at once would drive me up the walls but then when I asked myself “what would I do if one day these habits went?” I decided to really breathe them all in. Yes, it is a process to look beyond the appearance but this is a process I have consciously chosen to fully experience every step of the way.
Our mutual relationship is one of supporting each other to evolve into our best selves. This requires being pushed beyond the comfort zone. This dedication more often than not allows us to confront the frighten parts of our personalities and to simply be with what is seeking to emerge, a necessary discomfort for the evolutionary relationship that we both seek to express.
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How often have you reached out trying to grasp that fleeting feeling of elation?
If you are anything like me you perhaps spent a life time or two. Reaching for the highs from circumstances that brings the sensation in your life and surroundings. In fact for me I was driven to pack on the accolades, attend the ceremonies and take on the roles that would bring the feeling.
Unfortunately, it eluded my every attempt to hang on to it. Needless to say almost everyone around me was experiencing the same predicament. The excruciating pain when one’s partner failed to arouse it was unbearable. Time after time I lifted myself from the bathroom floor disappointed that this one, this oh so special one did not turn out to be my JOY. Someone has my joy and I needed to find it, “where are you I kept pursuing.”
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