Archive for the ‘Relationship Coaching’ Category
Appreciating whatever shows up for you in your life actually re-calibrates your very vibration. When we see others with a spirit of appreciation and gratitude we can often times find the beauty in what is and not in what we are hoping for, wanting or interpreting.
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H.I.P. people are grateful to know that you do not forgive for the other person, you do it for your own freedom. Be H.I.P. Forgive and be free ~ Coach T
I was confronted recently by a conversation that in my mind was extremely impossible to forgive. Honestly, nothing was done to me personally. I was just listening to a conversation and was being triggered and enraged. The more I thought “if that were me” the angrier my Spirit felt. But in the midst of the tumultuous inner feelings grace stepped in. The first light in mind came with the thought, this has nothing to do with you Shakira. I was merely listening to someone else’s conversation.
The second light in mind came with the thought, what are you so afraid of Shakira. I was afraid of loss and hurting my loved ones. I was afraid of feeling what I thought would be painful. The more I inserted myself and looked at the possibilities the angrier I felt.
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Sometimes leaders and entrepreneurs get locked into thinking that they must look the part of the market they are attempting to get a piece of. Imagine my astonishment when a friend of mine told me she had to buy the mint coat while working on wall street (a few years back) yet she was a pay check away from being evicted.
Now, there are times when we do advocate getting into the vibrational energy of that which you desire to attract but we also advocate wisdom and healthy stewardship – this is called balance. The truth is that the mint coat (for example) will be of no impact if the inside is not a vibrational match. Those you encounter will see right through the facade.
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“H.I.P. people know that confusion is a game we play to keep ourselves stuck in mediocrity. Be H.I.P. Practice trusting your heart.” ~ Coach T
There is an old proverb that says “God is not in confusion” (substitute God for what is appropriate to you) and I cannot tell you how many times this mantra / proverb has parted the red seas of my mind. By simply breathing in and repeating it to self a few times I have been able to pause and gather myself.
Often times you will find that whenever a shift or decision needs to be made some stuff will present itself before you. This usually happen because of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the repercussions or fear of the newness that is seeking to express itself in your life. There are also times when you experience gridlock in communication, with no solutions in sight…. Divine is not in confusion! Getting a clear sense of direction is very important during these times. In fact it is best to refrain from any or all life altering decisions when confusion is your state.
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“H.I.P. people know that each moment is the opportunity they’ve been waiting for.
Be H.I.P. Wait no more. This is it!” ~ Coach T
My grandmother taught us the tale “milking the cow.” This term can be used literally and figuratively. For her growing up and being told to milk the cow could just simple be go outside and physically get milk from the cow.
By the time I came along mama was no longer in the countryside of the island and although I knew what cows looked like we didn’t have cows in the backyard. Times had changed significantly and with a large family to feed “milking the cow” became squeezing the last drop out of every dollar. We had to learn how to pinch the penny, squandering wasn’t allowed and only the real special occasion allowed individual treats. Yes! Pinching the dollar or stretching the money by getting only items that could feed many versus just one was the norm in our household.
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Light is the form of energy that makes its possible to see things. The highest and best understanding we can apprehend is clear knowledge of God that unfolds from within the innermost level of our being.
Our relationships offer us the greatest opportunities to gain a clear knowledge of God, because they provide us feedback on where we are not seeing the Divine – in ourselves. We all have blind spots – so others provide us a mirror – reflecting to us how much of the Divine we actually understand and embrace of ourselves.
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Boundaries
Means by which the self knows who it is and who it isn’t. They determine not only where I end and you begin but the space between us. It is essential that couples aspiring the live H.I.P. lives and experience H.I.P. relationships cultivate healthy boundaries in which to flourish.
The boundaries you establish will support you in dealing with intimacy, loneliness, conflict, anxiety, stress and challenge at every stage of your life. They are integral to how your identity is constructed. What I like to say is ” some people are on the patio and some make it to your bedroom.” Clear boundaries will allow you to speak with confidence and assurance what you are willing to accept and really just how much you value yourself.
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“H.I.P. people are aware that peace of mind comes from not wanting to change others. Be H.I.P. stop trying to change others.”
Chances are you have people in your life whose behavior you wish you could change. Your romantic partner might be putting on a little weight. Your parents may complain too much. Your best friend won’t look for a new job, even though she hates the job she has now.
Once you notice these annoyances, it is natural to want to push people to change. However, is it actually possible to change someone’s behavior? Should you even try? At what price? When we have the urge to try to change someone we are really saying that we are not satisfied with our own Self, we are not at peace with ourselves, for it is our own Self through which we see, hear and judge. Whenever we try to improve someone we are in some way moving into physical or mental manipulation or into the psychological approach and you are ultimately dealing with the effects rather than with cause.
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You can’t prevent yourself or your partner from having an attraction to someone else.
Attraction is a natural part of life. It will happen. Energy is just energy. If you suppress that natural flow of attraction, what will often happen is that you will end up disconnecting from a part of yourself, which in turn affect the flow of chemistry between you and your partner.
If you let them know how you feel up front, they at least have a choice whether to continue in the relationship with you or not, rather than being there under false pretense. If you both agree to be monogamous and faithful to each other, then honor that commitment. But if it’s not your authentic truth and you are simply agreeing to what you think you should, then you are already being unfaithful to yourself and your partner.
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To love, trust and honor yourself is the ultimate foundation for any relationship.
The relationship with yourself is mirrored in the relationship with the partners that you attract into your life. Each moment we are at choice – a choice to choose love or a choice to choose fear. A choice to cheat or a choice to live with integrity. Every relationship is the opportunity to practice integrity and to live your spirituality in everyday life. When you don’t honor what you truly feel or your deepest truth in a relationship, you cheat on yourself and this is when unfaithfulness begins.
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