Archive for the ‘Relationship Coaching’ Category
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive.” ~ Howard Thurman
You are here for a reason! Your soul is eternally calling you in the direction of your highest path. The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. When you find your gift, you would have found what lights you up. And when you find what lights you up, your calling is to give it away.
We follow our calling by following what lights us up. Your light is contagious. Your inner light is craving to be shared by those around you, by the world at large – but mostly by you. When you share your unique light bit by bit, you light up lives around you. And one by one, you inspire them to light up too. It’s a chain reaction. And before long the whole world lights up. Your light is contagious.
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It is unimaginable because your experiences are different from another individual. They are feeling and seeing differently from you in each moment. An opinion or “solution giving” may just not be what’s needed.
I have been thinking about the concept of “walking in another man shoe” and what I have concluded for me is that the task is impossible. I can only stand in the gap with you whether in silence, with a hug or smile but the words often fail me. In fact the more silence that I can bring into the space will be the more opportunity for the inspiration of Spirit to flow into my heart, up to the brain and out my mouth.
You see the light I choose to share these days is the light of my presence. It may lead into “how can I support you?” but it definitely starts with my presence. To fully show up for someone else could be the act of lighting someone else’s candle. It could be just what the other person need in order to grow through the opening of their heart.
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H.I.P. People have discovered that joy is what happens when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things are. Be H.I.P. recognize how good life is.
Selecting the music for our wedding proved to be more challenging than I thought it would have been. In fact I remember the days growing up when I would be making a list with all the songs that was going to play at my wedding. I knew all these songs word for word but when the time came and years passed, the songs no longer fit my conscious evolution. The words no longer matched the vibration and essence of the occasion that Charles and I envisioned. Honestly, most of the lyrics from the music today no longer vibrate with me because I am standing in the awareness that the music, the words, the sounds all plays a part in my feelings and dreams about life.
Fortunately, we had just gotten Rev. Beckwith (Agape International) cd titled TranscenDance and we were in joy with all the songs on the album. Certainly we thought about all the people who would be at the wedding that wasn’t into this type of music but we decided to choose for us and what our higher selves was calling to do. As I reflected on the H.I.P. quote above it reminded me of the song we selected as our introduction music for the after party. The chorus goes like this:
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How do you get across the bridge before you?
The one you have created with your imagination and laced with trimmings of accolades and achievements that will support you in living your best life. Often times we can envision so well the life we desire. The relationships we would like to experience and the family and friends we would like to help out. The imagery keeps us up at night and perhaps we retell the stories over and over to those around us.
However, there comes that time when we must get the goals and dreams from our minds and into our expressed world, where they become accomplished and or manifested. No longer can you leave it to chance or the big break to get this done but you must begin at once to take the necessary steps. Crossing this bridge is really about the practice discipline. Using the practice of discipline can help you in three ways:
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Believing you are not creates all kinds of drama and suffering in one’s life.
You are not the way you should be, you are not good enough, perfect enough or wealthy enough. These are some of the erroneous beliefs we have accepted as truth. The truth is, in potential we are all whole and complete. No amount of searching outside ourselves to fill any perceive holes within can validate this truth. Believing the lies that you are not sends you on a search for an image outside yourself. When really you should be unleashing the image into the world.
Sometimes we believe so wholeheartedly these lies that we create structures in our lives to support them. The only way to prove this theory is to attempt pulling down the structures you have created and examine their foundations thoroughly. Simply try stop pretending to be what you’re not. Keeping up with the Jones, or the need to impress parents and friends as you conceal the insecurities and self judgments that needs healing. All those structures are really stories you have bought into.
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Imagine for a moment that you get that your sadness is absolutely yours?
It is authentically yours! Yet on the same coin lies your happiness which is shallow and not yours because often times it depends on something or somebody. Anything that makes you dependent is not yours. Be it the girlfriend, boyfriends or job, all that can change in the twinkle of an eye and with it goes your happiness. Frequently we try to avoid our sadness by not seeing or feeling it. We numb this with sex, drugs, shopping and food for example.
If we feel sad, we watch a comedy or go shopping or merely start doing something so that we neither feel or look at our sadness. What if your sadness was a sacred space that when explored could take you deeper within yourself? What it there where gifts and talents to be mined from this sadness? Lessons and insights to be learned? Could there be beauty in sadness?
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“A perfectionist is a person who takes great pains, and gives even greater pain to others.”
I came across this thought recently and had to pause for a moment. The endless pursuit of perfection is a psychological sickness that destroys all possibilities of inner growth. It destroys the beingness of our uniqueness and talents as one goes about attempting to attain the impossible. Everybody is trying to be perfect. And the moment somebody starts trying to be perfect he starts expecting everybody else to be perfect. This is the misery of the impossible goal. Condemning, humiliating and giving unsolicited opinions to others ruin the authenticity of self and relationships.
One then begins to feel guilty when he awakens from the illusion that he cannot be perfect. This awakening can come with much sadness and hurt as one loses respect for self and ultimately all others. Imagine what it would be like hanging around this person. The truth is we are hanging around or being this person every day. A perfectionist takes time day and night in the fight with self to be something he or she cannot be and makes those around them very miserable.
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Nothing for me is more profound that experiencing a room filled with toddlers that are uninhibited and filled with authentic self-expression. There are no filters to the words they speak or even the language of their bodies. Sometimes I am able to experience this with kindergarteners but the subtle signs of conditioning are already settling in. They are already being told that their movements are inappropriate and certain expectations from parents and adults are made known.
With toddlers the beauty of others and the world are fresh and filled with curiosity. The bewilderment in their eyes is contagious. Sadly, by the time they get to first grade the light is dim and only a flicker is often time visible. When they become adults the struggle becomes real when there is an attempt to recapture this state of being. To be hopeful and filled with possibilities when so much has told you the opposite of your beingness. Certainly there is a level of undoing and untethering that must take place to find this space within again.
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When my wife and I made the conscious choice to enter into a conscious relationship and eventually get married we surrendered to our Inner Beloved to express a relationship with a high calling. Relationships with high callings can develop in any facet of life.
Their hallmark is this: two or more people coming together to create a third or fourth or fifth something, which is inspired and serves more than their ego’s desires. On a deep level, they are committed, not only to each other, but to expressing the spiritual world.
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“H.I.P. people are grateful to know that going against their intuition only leads to misery. Be H.I.P. Follow your intuition” ~ Coach T
Being on the go in the norm in today’s society. In fact one is expected to be constantly connected and moving whether in thoughts or deeds. The more apps and gadgets you have at your disposal is perhaps directly correlated to your importance and busyness and to how informed you are as a citizen of the world. It is becoming increasingly imperative to give into the demand of constant connection.
Having the opportunity to see the different age population make their adjustments is fascinating. The younger folks are more easily sold on this way of life ( be mindful some of them are not familiar with any other way). Usually during some one-off occasions I will meet a youth that is apprehensive and refuse to be caught in the web. The truth revealed is that the ones I have met are more closely related to a family situation where (1) they are fully aware of the old ways of doing things (2) their guardians are in absolute resistance of the new way too. The mature generation is also just as fascinating. Some are in total fear and resistance while some are jumping in head first, not to be left behind.
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