Archive for the ‘Being Healthy’ Category
Are you tired of people pleasing?
Are you over not meeting other people’s expectation for you? Give yourself permission to be your best self then. Now is the time to take back control of your life. Too often we spend our days seeking the approval of those around us and end up living a life of misery.
For me people pleasing started very early. I recall feeling a sense of not enough after my mother migrated and left me with my relatives. Here I was a dark-skinned little girl surrounded by family and siblings that I thought didn’t look like me. Yes, I knew in kindergarten that I looked different from my sisters because those around me made it known. I sought so hard to be loved and accepted. To simply be liked and considered beautiful. Little did I know that this thought pattern would follow me into my adult years.
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Authenticity is about being willing to grow and change in order to be who you were born to be. To be willing to grow and change, your mind has to open and validate your quest. Authenticity is not for those who want to maintain the status quo. Our mind is an incredible instrument. It serves as a filter between your conscious and unconscious life, defining what is acceptable and real. If it happen to be filled with false ideas, limitations or fears about inner work, it will create a mental boundary and we can get stuck in non-growth. Your mind must give permission for your heart to open.
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Nothing for me is more profound that experiencing a room filled with toddlers that are uninhibited and filled with authentic self-expression. There are no filters to the words they speak or even the language of their bodies. Sometimes I am able to experience this with kindergarteners but the subtle signs of conditioning are already settling in. They are already being told that their movements are inappropriate and certain expectations from parents and adults are made known.
With toddlers the beauty of others and the world are fresh and filled with curiosity. The bewilderment in their eyes is contagious. Sadly, by the time they get to first grade the light is dim and only a flicker is often time visible. When they become adults the struggle becomes real when there is an attempt to recapture this state of being. To be hopeful and filled with possibilities when so much has told you the opposite of your beingness. Certainly there is a level of undoing and untethering that must take place to find this space within again.
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When my wife and I made the conscious choice to enter into a conscious relationship and eventually get married we surrendered to our Inner Beloved to express a relationship with a high calling. Relationships with high callings can develop in any facet of life.
Their hallmark is this: two or more people coming together to create a third or fourth or fifth something, which is inspired and serves more than their ego’s desires. On a deep level, they are committed, not only to each other, but to expressing the spiritual world.
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The ability to focus completely on what your partner is sharing and not sharing and to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of your partner’s desires is called active listening. This art can be practiced and developed over time if you consciously choose to do some cleanup work on yourself. It is imperative that the cleanup process takes place as active listening calls for you to be open and free from your own personal agendas.
Making yourself available in this way is also a memorable and sexy trait that is love’s first duty. Having developed this skill your partner will sense or feel into the space of deep connection with you as you allow him or her to vent and get clear without judgment or interruptions.
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During this time of year the collective energies are still beaming with potential.
Almost everyone is still making goals, re-evaluating their goals or resolutions. Some are reflecting, clearing and decluttering their physical and mental space for all the newness that 2015 will bring. Remaining sensitive to these energies are important as it can support you in building and garnering that which you need to continue your progress so as to stay on the path of manifesting your own goals and dreams.
Here are three things to be mindful during this time of year that is guaranteed to help you keep on track:
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Appreciating whatever shows up for you in your life actually re-calibrates your very vibration. When we see others with a spirit of appreciation and gratitude we can often times find the beauty in what is and not in what we are hoping for, wanting or interpreting.
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H.I.P. people are grateful to know that you do not forgive for the other person, you do it for your own freedom. Be H.I.P. Forgive and be free ~ Coach T
I was confronted recently by a conversation that in my mind was extremely impossible to forgive. Honestly, nothing was done to me personally. I was just listening to a conversation and was being triggered and enraged. The more I thought “if that were me” the angrier my Spirit felt. But in the midst of the tumultuous inner feelings grace stepped in. The first light in mind came with the thought, this has nothing to do with you Shakira. I was merely listening to someone else’s conversation.
The second light in mind came with the thought, what are you so afraid of Shakira. I was afraid of loss and hurting my loved ones. I was afraid of feeling what I thought would be painful. The more I inserted myself and looked at the possibilities the angrier I felt.
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Sometimes leaders and entrepreneurs get locked into thinking that they must look the part of the market they are attempting to get a piece of. Imagine my astonishment when a friend of mine told me she had to buy the mint coat while working on wall street (a few years back) yet she was a pay check away from being evicted.
Now, there are times when we do advocate getting into the vibrational energy of that which you desire to attract but we also advocate wisdom and healthy stewardship – this is called balance. The truth is that the mint coat (for example) will be of no impact if the inside is not a vibrational match. Those you encounter will see right through the facade.
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“H.I.P. people know that confusion is a game we play to keep ourselves stuck in mediocrity. Be H.I.P. Practice trusting your heart.” ~ Coach T
There is an old proverb that says “God is not in confusion” (substitute God for what is appropriate to you) and I cannot tell you how many times this mantra / proverb has parted the red seas of my mind. By simply breathing in and repeating it to self a few times I have been able to pause and gather myself.
Often times you will find that whenever a shift or decision needs to be made some stuff will present itself before you. This usually happen because of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the repercussions or fear of the newness that is seeking to express itself in your life. There are also times when you experience gridlock in communication, with no solutions in sight…. Divine is not in confusion! Getting a clear sense of direction is very important during these times. In fact it is best to refrain from any or all life altering decisions when confusion is your state.
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