Author Archive
It is unimaginable because your experiences are different from another individual. They are feeling and seeing differently from you in each moment. An opinion or “solution giving” may just not be what’s needed.
I have been thinking about the concept of “walking in another man shoe” and what I have concluded for me is that the task is impossible. I can only stand in the gap with you whether in silence, with a hug or smile but the words often fail me. In fact the more silence that I can bring into the space will be the more opportunity for the inspiration of Spirit to flow into my heart, up to the brain and out my mouth.
You see the light I choose to share these days is the light of my presence. It may lead into “how can I support you?” but it definitely starts with my presence. To fully show up for someone else could be the act of lighting someone else’s candle. It could be just what the other person need in order to grow through the opening of their heart.
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H.I.P. People have discovered that joy is what happens when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things are. Be H.I.P. recognize how good life is.
Selecting the music for our wedding proved to be more challenging than I thought it would have been. In fact I remember the days growing up when I would be making a list with all the songs that was going to play at my wedding. I knew all these songs word for word but when the time came and years passed, the songs no longer fit my conscious evolution. The words no longer matched the vibration and essence of the occasion that Charles and I envisioned. Honestly, most of the lyrics from the music today no longer vibrate with me because I am standing in the awareness that the music, the words, the sounds all plays a part in my feelings and dreams about life.
Fortunately, we had just gotten Rev. Beckwith (Agape International) cd titled TranscenDance and we were in joy with all the songs on the album. Certainly we thought about all the people who would be at the wedding that wasn’t into this type of music but we decided to choose for us and what our higher selves was calling to do. As I reflected on the H.I.P. quote above it reminded me of the song we selected as our introduction music for the after party. The chorus goes like this:
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How do you get across the bridge before you?
The one you have created with your imagination and laced with trimmings of accolades and achievements that will support you in living your best life. Often times we can envision so well the life we desire. The relationships we would like to experience and the family and friends we would like to help out. The imagery keeps us up at night and perhaps we retell the stories over and over to those around us.
However, there comes that time when we must get the goals and dreams from our minds and into our expressed world, where they become accomplished and or manifested. No longer can you leave it to chance or the big break to get this done but you must begin at once to take the necessary steps. Crossing this bridge is really about the practice discipline. Using the practice of discipline can help you in three ways:
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Imagine for a moment that you get that your sadness is absolutely yours?
It is authentically yours! Yet on the same coin lies your happiness which is shallow and not yours because often times it depends on something or somebody. Anything that makes you dependent is not yours. Be it the girlfriend, boyfriends or job, all that can change in the twinkle of an eye and with it goes your happiness. Frequently we try to avoid our sadness by not seeing or feeling it. We numb this with sex, drugs, shopping and food for example.
If we feel sad, we watch a comedy or go shopping or merely start doing something so that we neither feel or look at our sadness. What if your sadness was a sacred space that when explored could take you deeper within yourself? What it there where gifts and talents to be mined from this sadness? Lessons and insights to be learned? Could there be beauty in sadness?
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Because times are changing and families everywhere are seeking new and different ways of holding unto the traditions that are so very important to them. When you christen your child you are making a public statement that you have made the conscious decision to raise your child according to spiritual principles. You are declaring the truth that you are a teacher. In the society today it is important that we continue to make a safe and open space for our children to express and grow into their full potential.
Unless you parent in the total spirit of Love, it doesn’t matter what laws you think you are teaching—they will just become lifeless rules that your child will discard, as soon as there is no longer an authoritative finger around. Get the tools necessary by attending one of our pre-christening sessions to deepen your awareness of how important this right of passage is.
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“A perfectionist is a person who takes great pains, and gives even greater pain to others.”
I came across this thought recently and had to pause for a moment. The endless pursuit of perfection is a psychological sickness that destroys all possibilities of inner growth. It destroys the beingness of our uniqueness and talents as one goes about attempting to attain the impossible. Everybody is trying to be perfect. And the moment somebody starts trying to be perfect he starts expecting everybody else to be perfect. This is the misery of the impossible goal. Condemning, humiliating and giving unsolicited opinions to others ruin the authenticity of self and relationships.
One then begins to feel guilty when he awakens from the illusion that he cannot be perfect. This awakening can come with much sadness and hurt as one loses respect for self and ultimately all others. Imagine what it would be like hanging around this person. The truth is we are hanging around or being this person every day. A perfectionist takes time day and night in the fight with self to be something he or she cannot be and makes those around them very miserable.
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Are you tired of people pleasing?
Are you over not meeting other people’s expectation for you? Give yourself permission to be your best self then. Now is the time to take back control of your life. Too often we spend our days seeking the approval of those around us and end up living a life of misery.
For me people pleasing started very early. I recall feeling a sense of not enough after my mother migrated and left me with my relatives. Here I was a dark-skinned little girl surrounded by family and siblings that I thought didn’t look like me. Yes, I knew in kindergarten that I looked different from my sisters because those around me made it known. I sought so hard to be loved and accepted. To simply be liked and considered beautiful. Little did I know that this thought pattern would follow me into my adult years.
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Nothing for me is more profound that experiencing a room filled with toddlers that are uninhibited and filled with authentic self-expression. There are no filters to the words they speak or even the language of their bodies. Sometimes I am able to experience this with kindergarteners but the subtle signs of conditioning are already settling in. They are already being told that their movements are inappropriate and certain expectations from parents and adults are made known.
With toddlers the beauty of others and the world are fresh and filled with curiosity. The bewilderment in their eyes is contagious. Sadly, by the time they get to first grade the light is dim and only a flicker is often time visible. When they become adults the struggle becomes real when there is an attempt to recapture this state of being. To be hopeful and filled with possibilities when so much has told you the opposite of your beingness. Certainly there is a level of undoing and untethering that must take place to find this space within again.
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