You can’t prevent yourself or your partner from having an attraction to someone else.
Attraction is a natural part of life. It will happen. Energy is just energy. If you suppress that natural flow of attraction, what will often happen is that you will end up disconnecting from a part of yourself, which in turn affect the flow of chemistry between you and your partner.
If you let them know how you feel up front, they at least have a choice whether to continue in the relationship with you or not, rather than being there under false pretense. If you both agree to be monogamous and faithful to each other, then honor that commitment. But if it’s not your authentic truth and you are simply agreeing to what you think you should, then you are already being unfaithful to yourself and your partner.
If your agreement no longer feels true for you then honor yourself, honor your partner; honor your love by speaking the truth. Have the courage to renegotiate your commitment and find a new relationship format that allows for more love to be expressed between you both. Commit to love each moment of your relationship. Sometimes this will cause you to end a relationship. But other times it may mean you must commit more deeply to working on your relationship, even though it’s challenging.
Just because you feel an attraction to someone other than your partner it is not enough of a reason to act on it. Real freedom is to be connected to your authentic self and making choices that are in alignment. Real freedom is a discipline of the heart. Real freedom is to sacrifice what is lesser for what is more (good vs. best). Real freedom is commitment to love. So commit to love and let love guide you. You will know what to do or not do. Be truthful always. Speak with courage. Live your integrity.
Now, how you manage that attraction to another person is what requires real integrity. Rather than simply acting out your attraction and cheating on your partner, it is important to acknowledge the feeling of attraction upfront. Then you can communicate what you feel with your partner, if it’s something more than just a fleeting feeling.
Before you act on your attraction with another partner whilst in a relationship with someone else ask yourself, “Is this the most loving action? What would love do? Does it really serve to have sex with this other person? Will it truly serve both me and my partner?”
Being spiritual is a courageous commitment to truth and living the deepest truth you are able to access in any given moment. As you evolve, this will grow and change as you do. Being spiritual is the willingness to take a deep look at yourself, to take responsibility and clean up whatever mistakes you might make.
When you suppress your truth and compromise your heart you betray yourself. This is the real pain. When you communicate your authentic feelings you may find that just allowing this non-judgmental space to share your desire, it dissolves. In communicating it can also open up the opportunity to deal with the deeper issues in the relationship. As a result facilitating deeper intimacy and healing.
When you suppress and hide your feelings of attraction to others; often the energy can grow and act itself out in less than conscious ways, i.e. infidelity and secret affairs. When you cheat you dishonor your partner. When you cheat you dishonor love.
It’s not about right or wrong. It’s about integrity. It’s about honoring whatever agreements you made with each other. When you cheat you don’t give the other person an opportunity to choose.
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