You loving you. Wow, what a concept. Instead of waiting for the special someone to love you – how about you loving you. Does this sound like you? Do you deflect compliments? Do you hear criticism from others even when they don’t intent it? Do you find yourself worrying or feeling guilty while in the midst of doing something you love? If so, you’re not alone.
Very few of us were taught how to love ourselves. But this can change. If you’re interested in expanding your self-love skills set consider joining Charles & Shakira ( The H.I.P. Coaches) and the H.I.P. community. We dove into our relationship as a living laboratory 2 years ago. Together we are exploring and documenting the key attitudes, actions and ways of being that continue to expand our experience of deep, fresh connection, joy and easy manifestation. Here are some of the principles we are exploring:
We have made a heartfelt commitment to each other that we’re willing to go beyond all our ego – defenses to experience full unity. At the same time we are committed to going all the way with our individual creative expression. We are then able to observe the emergence of our defensive barriers daily. We report them honestly, but don’t take them seriously. In fact, ego defenses disappear quickly when we turn them into play and laugh.
We then make make a heartfelt commitment to learning something new from every interaction. This is done by noticing our feelings and thoughts and speaking about them to each other. If there are things we did or feelings we’re afraid to talk about, we make sure to speak about these to each other openly. By getting familiar with our habitual listening- filters and practicing summarizing what the other person is saying with no distortion we are better able to have healthy communication.We also practice acknowledging the feelings and desires embedded in our communications.
Another key to our relationship is we monitor each agreement we make carefully, ensuring that we want to make the agreement in the first place. No sense making an agreement you didn’t want to make. Once we make it we work to fulfill it impeccably or change it consciously by communicating to each other.
Another tool is to make it a practice that in any situation you claim responsibility for having created the outcome. Take time to ponder how and why you might have wanted things to occur the way it did. We make it a practice to speak in empowered language for e.g. “I choose to go to the dentist rather that I have to go to the dentist” or “I take responsibility for eating so that I have a healthy body” rather than “why did you buy that huge bucket of buttered popcorn?”A fun one for us is inventing new ways to appreciate each other everyday and speaking appreciations frequently – working on the love languages.
I encourage you to live inside questions such as “what’s my partners true essence and how can I invite it forth?” and “what could I appreciate about my partner at this moment.” Express love as much as you can from wherever you are!
If you would like to be a part of the H.I.P. community join us on Facebook & Twitter
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“Give Yourself Permission To Being Your Best Self™”
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